Days passed by in a flash. Mama & ayah finished doing their Hajj. They r back to Qatar, i'm thankful that they're fine. Last few weeks i missed them terribly, the distance felt toooo far away. but when they're back to qatar i felt fine.. 0.0" anyway, there was this one time, i was eating with tok n she was peeling the fish for me. i was like 'tok mkn la' but she insisted n giving it to me. well, wat can i do, i just ate it..ehehe...at that moment i remember mama used to do that when i was small. hahaha. i still remember when i was so little n quite fussy in finishing the food. she would divide the food into small clump n when i managed to finish it i would feel prooud. hahahha..well, i WAS a kiddo at that time :P n then dad would pat my head n tummy :D
i guess those are the memories that i will never forget.
but still when i grew up, things change. the earth spins every second, the weather never stays the same n so does human, they change every moment. i realised i've forgotten many things that i used to adore. i've forgotten Bach,Schubert,Vivaldi, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Ravel, Thaicovsky. It's been a while since i last listening to their pieces. Though i lost many of their songs, i managed to saved some in my file. Started from the age of humm around 8~9 i always listen to classical music. i would sit alone at the main hall in the house, next to the hi-fi; i will take dad's classical music collection n never tired of listening to it. i even memorise the name of the track n which's whose. :D i was so into it even now i still am. classical always makes me calm n relaxing. especially chopin with his piano pieces. tho Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is always my fav, but i love listening to Frederic Chopin's Raindrop prelude. The melody started with a calm yet sad ambiance n as it goes on it turned darker n tense, after that the serene tune came back, n the ending felt like one saying his farewell. Beethoven's Moonlight sonata is another calm but sad piece. buuut Schubert's Serenade and Mozart piano concerto no.21 make me dancing along~ the piece by Pietro Mascagni: Cavalleria rusticana ish sooo soothing n romantic. love it!! Claude Debussy's Claire de Lune is another old time fav, it's so dreamy just like the title in english it means Moonlight. hahaha! i could write a long essay about every piece of classical music i like xD

i also realised that me n qeyla didn't get a long anymore. well its not that i don wanna share with her about few things. but everything i do or did are n were always wrong in their eyes. i'm always the one at fault n no good. thats why i stopped myself from contacting or sharing with any of my sisters. when i said it was a secret, huh in a jiffy every1 knows bout it. how would u feel? sometimes i feel like i'm the black sheep, outsider. if i flashback i always played by myself n do things on my own. unless if i'm being pulled by sis or others or watever. ppl said being the youngest is lucky. lucky is not the right word my friend, it's hard to describe. everything jumbled up. sometimes u feel blessed n sometimes u're just lost. sometimes u felt unfairness, but ur parents r 2 person, they can't handle all of us at once. i always think positive bout this, n for me i will say to myself that, 'u're the last one, so ur turn will always be the last one'. =) i do not mind if i'm never was or is any1's favourite, i think i'm better of myself. my siblings arl married n has their own family,husband/wife n kid(s) except qeyla of cos. but i dont feel that attachment anymore -wat da heck, there's an ant in my drink -.-!!! -
not just that but also trust, n when i'm happy, they r not. qeyla n me used to be so close tho we always argue n fights a lot~~. we talk less, not like before when we're together we'll both will talk n talk. like mom n others always said, when we fight we both seems to hate each other so much but when we're all good, it was like lovers...eeww...but thats wat they said..hahaha..well the gap between us r just 1 n 1/2 years. n most of my lifetime i spent it with her other than mom n dad..lol..hmm if she goes to aussie or new.z next year, i will feel happy for her cuz thats wat she been dreaming of but also sad of seeing her moving far away from me. life goes on fifah, life goes on..hehe. i remembered when i said to ateh that i wont allow her getting married not untill i'm 19. but it really happened, she got married when i'm 19 haha. -got the ant out of my drink ~.~"-

hhmmm~~ i feel like lying on a rooftop n look at the sky, just like i did in Notts where i would lie down at amphitheatre, looking at the vast sky. i still remember my first time i went there at night with fiqah, meeting other bioscience seniors. n another time where i saw a fullmoon with a ring around it. it was so beautiful~~ but it was all a memories~~
there r lots to remember, but it'll eventually make me weep, so i better don't start it. =)